05/13/2023 | HECKIN WILD FUCKING WEEK I'VE HAD, Y'ALL. I am still very tired and still waiting on interview updates (which hopefully I will have by Tuesday), but my now former job continued to be WILD and DRAMATIC in new and unexpected ways! [some swearing and caps below because I have FEELINGS and also am still processing all of this, lmao]
The day after my last update, our owner publicly announced that the facility was closing but only to like, some of our clients via email? Like half of our regular clients I had to tell personally because she just!! Didn't include them in the email communication? So that began new shitshow number one, and then for those of you not in the PNW, we're having a little heatwave this weekend, but like I work outside with dogs, and we've been asking the owner since I was hired in March to get us like, hoses or at least SHADE for them because there's nowhere for them to cool off outside in our yards. So my single coworker texts her in the group chat (again) on Thursday asking if we can finally get this stuff for the weekend because HOT, and the owner takes offense to this because (and we did not know this) she is supposed to be TRAVELLING and she is perceiving attitude where there is none.
And owner calls me suggesting she's not going to let coworker continue on for the last few weeks (which, talk about making problems for yourself out of nothing) and is asking if I can take on some extra shifts or responsibilities but I told her I only gave such a long notice period for my coworker and I wasn't gonna work my last shifts if she fired her because what the fuck is happening? LIke this coworker poured her heart into making this property not a complete biohazard and a decent place to work, and did a bunch of unpaid labor on top of her normal hours and training me, and now of all times she's going to talk about getting rid of her? This is all before I even get into work on Thursday!
AND YESTERDAY, I'm working the whole day by myself, and I get back from my lunch break, and there're cars in our driveway even though we're not open, and I suddenly get a text from our owner saying that there is a contractor and a locksmith replacing all of the house locks, and I ask her what the fuck is happening, and literally she tells me she's firing coworker BEFORE SHE HAS EVEN NOTIFIED MY COWORKER, and I am to work the rest of my shift and then I won't be needed either.
So, if nothing else, I have one more paycheck coming in, and I don't have to be outside in the heatwave, and I'll have a few weeks of free time to catch up on personal life things before a new job comes through, but also like, damn, that whole job really imploded in a way that I never could have guessed it would back in March. I'm relieved to have it be over, but I'm sad I didn't get to say goodbyes to some of our regular daycare dogs. I'm gonna miss the dogs and the clients, I knew I would, I just hadn't been completely prepared to let it go as I thought I had a couple more weeks.
05/07/2023 | Wow, another month of the year gone! Life has been happening! Allergies have been happening! Employment distress is up! Seasonal depression is down! I am trying to appreciate the little mercies, though I feel like they have been few and far betwen.
I am on the job hunt again, and at the very least, despite the usual mass of unresponsive employers, I have three interviews this week. I'm hoping I'll have something new lined up by June because I already gave my notice at my current job. I've been venting a bit on tumblr, but being asked to lie to clients about our services and operations; finding out we're not complying with our orders to stay in operation from the county; my sole coworker scheduling me for the maximum number of hours I agreed to and then guilting me about not staying late; and that the business owner keeps threatening/crying about the potential of having to close the business were just too much.
Wow listing it all like that makes me tired.
And there's more that I won't even bother getting into, but I'm ready to be done, and the only reason I haven't completely walked out is because I was trying to stay on to give my coworker some time off for a trip she has just before memorial day weekend. All of this and the terrors of job hunting have had me feeling pretty low and I haven't had a lot of time for any of my hobbies, including the site, which has definitely added to that.
I keep holding on hope that things will get better, that I will find the right job and the right living situation and that the work I put into things will pay off, but I'm trying to figure out what to do if... like if they don't pay off and come together. I'll have moved away from my home state to Washington six years ago this June, and aside from my romantic partner, I feel like my life moved backwards in a lot of ways. There've been other circumstances that impacted that (the pandemic of course, some unhealthy romantic and platonic relationships, trauma recovery), but I feel like it's taken all of me just to anchor myself down and hold it together, and I keep wondering when I'll actually get to stop having to do that all of the time. I'm trying to find moments now, but it's hard when it feels like the foundations holding you up weren't very good to begin with.
04/07/2023 | Happy Friday, neighbors! I've been working more at my new job and struggling with the influx of cold, gloomy weather after that first burst of sping out here, but keeping busy with fiber crafts and my physical journal and thinking up things to do over here even though I've mostly been lurking for the last couple weeks.
I had to work on my birthday, and we had to call off some of our plans due to the weather, but my grandma sent me some money for some fiber spinning goodies and my partner bought me some knitting needles and sock yarn. I've only kind of learned to knit like a decade ago, but I never moved forward because I don't like doing.... building block projects? when I'm learning a new craft. So I never kept learning! But I wanted to learn so I could learn sweaters and socks, and even though I am very aware it's not recommended, I'm learning to knit starting with socks now and it's going pretty okay! I think having a pretty stong background with crochet is helping, and it's informed some of the problems I'm having (my crochet tension is always too tight, and I'm having the same problem here for example) as well as the solutions to them and I'm excited to finally be making this happen. =3
I'm hoping once I get somewhere with the socks maybe I can use some of my handspun yarn to make something nice for myself, but that's a little ways off. I'm still working on the same 4 ounces of Shetland wool I started five months ago. I wanted to try spinning it thin enough that it'd be fingering weight once chain plied, and while I have succeeded, I am working with a drop spindle and thus I can't work super fast and the spinning/plying process is taking so long. ;u;