April to June
2022
05/15/2022 | Thanks for 69 (nice) followers, y'all. B)
Honestly, that's it, that's the whole update, lol. Brain is still stewing on Bugsnax brainrot, still background plotting the demise of capitalism, still enjoying the coming warmth of summer. BUT ALSO MCR NEW MUSIC MY TEEN SELF IS STILL IMPLODING OVER THAT A LITTLE BIT. Like what year is it, y'all?
Make sure you drink some water and touch some grass or moss or something today. It's good for ur brain.
05/12/2022 | I'm feeling cautiously optimistic about the future right now? My partner and I have been discussing our orginal plans for 2022 versus alternative plans to make a different long term plan work out. Like the kind of alternative plans that involve making excel spreadsheets and having important discussions with your landlord. There are certainly some kinks to work out (and potentially another shift in employment for one or both of us), but I think it might make the both of us happier in the long run.
Otherwise, I know I literally just complained about being overwhelmed by all of my hobbies last month, but I think after reflecting on it more, maybe I'm starting to make peace with it and how cyclical my attention is. It feels good to get to do things when they feel good instead of trying to force myself to stick with a certain hobby at a certain time. We're gonna try this for a bit and see if we make progress on the things we want to.
And FINALLY I can't in good conscience update here without mentioning that my partner and I have been playing Bugsnax and it is so, so cute! I love all of the critter design and the characters have far more depth than I ever expected. I love that it's pretty and requires some problem solving and has queer characters! Without question, Chandlo is my favourite, and if some bugsnax start sneaking their way onto the site, you know why, lol.
04/30/2022 | I honestly forgot how hard it feels to try to create when my body is actively waging war against itself, lmao. I was so looking forward to getting to build new stuff and be online through my work week, and then I woke up this morning with only enough energy to do the bare essentials and add some backlogged graphics. I'd wanted to build new things, write some thoughts on the things I love in a way I was satisified with, and work on planning my goals for may (here and irl), but instead I feel like I can barely manage this stream of conciousness writing while I binge Cardcaptor. (Which honestly I have not rewatched since it aired on Kids WB way back when in a completely different dub, but it is so sweet and i love the colors and design, and maybe I'll start working on a combination magical girl shrine soon, lol.) Be kind and gentle, friends. Both to yourselves and each other.
04/25/2022 | Sometime's it's important to remember that progress is rarely a linear thing. I'm definitely in a better place than I was earlier this year, but that doesn't mean I'm not struggling. It's been helpful rereading some of my old journals to give myself some perspective on how far I've come and to remind myself of things that have helped in the past. Brains are weird, and I'm just trying to be gentle with myself (which includes reorienting my expectations for long term life stuff, which is more than a little daunting).
04/11/2022 | Do you ever get overwhelmed by the number of hobbies you have? Too many choices, too much fun stuff to learn and enjoy and maybe get frustrated over, lol. I'm still in a mood where I want to work here, but I've also got some sewing to do and I want to keep improving my spinning and draw my fursona and I haven't picked up my ukulele in months and I finally went to the library for the first time since 2019 and have physical books to read again and and and! There's just so much I want to do and I never feel like I have enough time to do it all, especially now that I'm working full time again. I'm still striving to find some work-life balance so that I don't always feel like I'm just squishing my hobbies into spare minutes here and there, but that'll take time I think (and possibly a new job, which I'm not excited about hunting for even if I feel it may be necessary soon).
In other news, it only kind of snowed in my town over the weekend, like the slushiest wet snow that was too solid to be considered sleet but too slushy to be considered hail-adjacent, which was a relief to be honest. I am done with the snow and cold for the season and would like to plan trips without having to worry whether the mountain passes are closed or not (which they are right now). >.>;;
Also, TODAY IS THE LAST DAY I ADD GRAPHICS FOR A BIT. I have to stop myself somewhere, and I keep seeing more of y'all's sites and getting inspired to make new pages or clean up the ones I have! But also I *really* love hoarding graphics like a little digital dragon and also there are like a billion websites with cute fairy graphics and I want to save them all. ;o; So I'm going through my bookmarks today to get the last bits out and then hopefully I'll get working on my to do list (which I think I'm also gonna clean up today once I'm done importing graphics). [edit: jk it'll be next round of updates, forgot we have some errands to do today so website time will be shorter than expected today.]
04/07/2022 | Weird weather inbound for the PNW I guess? It was beautiful today (spring's really in full swing!) and I got to actually enjoy it since I was off. Still had to go run errands, but it was nice to spend it under sunshine and blue skies and come home to sit on the balcony and listen to the bees. uwu HOWEVER, I guess it might snow on Sunday?? Not much, but any snow this late in the season feels like freak weather, and I'm really just ready for more days like today!! Maybe finally shake off these last remnants of the winter blues too if I'm being super honest.
I'm also starting to feel like this site is becoming an excuse for me to hoard cute internet stuff again. Sometimes I get on here because I want to tinker around with the site, and then all I end up doing is looking for fun stuff and fun old sites using geocities and adding to my graphics pages, lol. I mean, I know it's my site, I'm under no obligation to like, *build* anything specific or coherent or on a deadline, but I do have a few half finished pages that could really use some sprucing up. ^^;